Minister: Pst Fisayo Elugbadebo
Genesis 1:27–28 KJV: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
To blossom as a family does not simply mean growth or survival. It goes beyond even fruitfulness. It is coming to a place of dominion.
The fact that a couple in a family is not fighting does not necessarily mean that they are blossoming. Blossoming only happens when a family has blossomed in God’s Life. In that Life, they become fruitful; they multiply that fruitful Life; with that Life, they are able to replenish the earth and eventually come into dominion over it.
The family is an avenue that God planted and ordained to cultivate His Life on the earth. God, the Husbandman, plants a seed, which is His Life, and nurtures it. He intends that the fruit of His Life will multiply, fill the whole earth, and have dominion.
Our marriages should therefore be an avenue for God to spread righteousness on the earth and bring it into dominion. It is when we have achieved this that we have truly blossomed as a family.
No wonder the first thing God said to Adam and Eve after creation was to bless them to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth, subdue it, and have dominion. This is the first reason why God wants a family.
A second reason why family is important to God is that, in our union, God is looking for something. He is looking for a godly seed. A godly seed is not limited only to our children. There are things that carry God’s Life. They are offspring of God’s desire. We can call them seeds.
Malachi 2:15 KJV And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
God is looking for seeds that carry His Life and express His desire. Therefore, as couples, we must understand that our union is not only about ourselves. There is something God desires to produce through us.
The third reason marriage is important before God is that it typifies the union between Christ and the Church. This is the ultimate thing God wants from man. He wants us to be raised as a bride for the Son of God. The relationship between a husband and wife is the closest representation of Christ and the Church. This means that marriage is prophetic. Our marriages should prophesy the ultimate union between Christ and His Church.
This is why Satan fights marriage so much. He does not want the fulfilment of this prophecy.
Ephesians 5:23–32 KJV: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. [25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: [30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. [31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Through our marriages, people should be able to see Christ and get a true picture of what the Church should represent.
Marriage is therefore beyond romance. It is about God’s purpose. Romance is like an extra. God’s purpose is that righteousness is cultivated and exported to the ends of the earth.
Our marriages and families should be like incubators where the righteousness of God is cultivated and exported to all men. Marriage is mission-oriented. We must put a sense of mission and purpose into marriage.
A couple might be at peace and not fight, but that does not necessarily mean the marriage is blossoming. If it is not fulfilling God’s purpose, it has not yet come into the fullness of what God intends for it.
The home is the first place where we practise whatever we are taught. It is in the home that the knowledge of God is transferred into ways of life. It is through our relationships with one another that we learn to apply what we have been equipped with in the Church.
Most of the problems the Church of God faces today are because of failures on the home front. We have a responsibility to ensure that the next generation under our care is properly cultured in the Lord.
The definition of a home goes beyond the father, mother, and children. God has moved homes into households.
We do not see homes referred to simply as homes in Scripture. God often refers to them as households, including the household of faith (Galatians 6:10). This is because God’s desire is to bring as many people as possible into our homes and make them households for the purpose of salvation (Psalm 68:6).
Genesis 18:19 KJV For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
God will first give us a home, and then He will translate it into a household. Therefore, when we are planning marriage, we should not only think about creating a home for a nuclear family. We should think about building a household of faith.
Many of Paul’s greetings to families were addressed to households, as we see in Romans 16. A household is more than a family. The reason God is particular about households and not just homes is that a household provides an environment where He can multiply Life in greater measure.
When souls are born again, God adds them to the Church for work to be done in their souls. This work is not the responsibility of the pastor alone. It is also the responsibility of every married couple who has grown in the Lord.
When souls are added to the Church, they are also added to homes. We must remember that families are what make up the Church. Therefore, as couples, we should be well equipped to raise the souls God directs to our households so that they can grow.
One of the reasons the Lord has raised us and saved us to a measure is so that we can also do the work of the ministry for the edification of the Body of Christ. (Ephesians 4:11–12). Our pastors are called to equip us for the work of the ministry.
For instance, during Pentecost, many people from different parts of the world travelled to Jerusalem. After Peter preached and they were converted, many of them remained in Jerusalem. The 3,000 who remained would have needed to stay with families who had followed Jesus and had been with the apostles. This shows us that the family unit is key to God’s salvation move on the earth today.
For a home to blossom, women play a major role. We cannot talk about blossoming without talking about mothers.
Mothers play a major role in bringing our marriages to a place where they begin to blossom. By nature, a woman is a nurturer. She stands in the office of a helper and a comforter. The female man has similar characteristics to the Holy Ghost.
The woman is to serve as a helper to see that her household fulfils God’s purpose. It is okay for a woman to see herself in the picture of the Holy Ghost as a helper and comforter.
A good example of a woman who excelled in this is Deborah, the wife of Lapidoth. She helped the household of Israel, through Barak, to fulfil the purposes of God.
For Israel to come into alignment with God’s will, a mother had to be raised. Deborah began to teach God’s Word to Israel, and people came from afar to hear her.
Judges 4:4–5 KJV And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time. [5] And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Beth–el in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.
Judges 5:6–7 KJV In the days of Shamgar the son of Anath, in the days of Jael, the highways were unoccupied, and the travellers walked through byways. [7] The inhabitants of the villages ceased; they ceased in Israel, until that I Deborah arose, that I arose a mother in Israel.
When Deborah arose as a mother, many things changed in Israel. She began to teach judgment and restore journeys through the highways of God. Deborah raised Barak and Jael to help them stand in God’s purpose, and we saw how God used them both in victories against the Canaanites and Sisera.
This shows us that as women, we are supposed to stand as mothers over whoever the Lord brings our way, including our biological children, so that they can stand and fulfil their purpose in God. This is who a mother is.
A woman can be a wife but not yet be a mother. Scripture says, “He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” (Proverbs 18:22). But it should not end there. She should become a virtuous woman and a good mother.
Wives should aim to become mothers. We should aim to be able to mother righteousness and watch it grow in the lives of people.
Psalm 128:3 KJV Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
A wife should not be content with simply being a vine. She should become a fruitful vine. This speaks to the ability to mother, cultivate, and reproduce offspring of Life. A virtuous woman is a mother.
Marriage is about raising and nurturing. Raising children is an important part of marriage.
There is a difference between raising children and merely rearing children. We should learn to raise children to become trees of righteousness. In doing this, we should not leave the growth of our children to chance. We must be deliberate because raising is intentional.
1 Timothy 5:9–10 KJV Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, [10] Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
A wife should have good works and be able to bring up children in righteousness.
Titus 2:3–5 KJV The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; [4] That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Sometimes, young women in marriage think they know how to love their husbands and raise their children, but they may not truly know until older women begin to teach them the practical aspects of these things. We should always be praying that our marriages will be fit for God’s salvation agenda for all men.
Luke 2:52 KJV And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
Jesus grew in wisdom. He was not dull. He could read and write and was able to read the scrolls in the synagogue. Jesus also grew in stature. He was fit. If He had not been physically fit, He would not have been able to move from one city to another as much as He did. Jesus was resilient even in the natural. Otherwise, He would not have been able to carry the cross. His growth was all-round. Jesus was also socially well-developed. He was not shy. He did not have low self-esteem.
As mothers, the physical and cognitive development of our children should be important to us. In nurturing our children, we should not focus only on spiritual things. We should pay attention to their all-round development and raise them to find favour with God and men.
Jesus was not born with all these developments automatically. He grew into them, and they were cultivated in Him by a mother.
Our children should be meeting the milestones expected for their age. We should know what is expected of our children at each stage of their development.
If we do not raise resilient children, God will not be able to use them in the way He desires. We should pay attention to their social skills. We should teach them how to interact with people and how to be responsible, including being responsible for household chores.
Some of the interpersonal conflicts we have in the Church today are because some people were not raised to be compassionate. We should also teach our children management skills: how to manage money and handle finances.
The brethren God brings our way should also be part of our concern. When God brings people into our households, we should look into their well-being. We should care about their feeding, esteem, confidence, finances, and other areas of their lives. God wants solid people. God wants us to be in health.
We should teach people integrity and accountability. A mother teaches children how to work with their own hands and become responsible.
We should raise sisters to the point where they become wives who are ready to raise other sisters as wives. This is how righteousness will be propagated.
When raising our children, we should have a mission mindset.
The children God has given us are arrows.
Psalm 127:4 Arrows are used for warfare, and we are their launching pad. This is why we cannot merely rear them; we must raise them. Raising is intentional. We must deliberately cultivate the Life of God in our children, equip them for purpose, and prepare them to become instruments through whom righteousness can be propagated.
Our families are not merely for our comfort. They are vessels through which God desires to cultivate His Life, raise a godly seed, fulfil His prophetic purpose, and spread righteousness to the ends of the earth.
That is what it means for us to truly blossom as a family.