Date: 27th December, 2025
Message: The Purpose of Singlehood and the Lifestyle that fulfills it
Minister: Pastor Tope Falaye
(Gen. 2:18-25) Adam, in the days of his flesh, was single at some point and the truth is that he didn’t know it; he was oblivious about the need of a spouse and didn’t know if he needed to marry.
In Verse 18, the LORD GOD is the one who said it is not good for man to be alone. Adam was not looking for a help-meet for him, but he wasn’t ignorant of the fact that there is a provision for a help/wife. According to God’s perfect plan, they ought to be two. With regards to man, what is good for him is that God’s plan for him is to marry.
God allowed the first man to experience singlehood. In our singlehood, God doesn’t require that we are oblivious about the need to marry. Even though Adam, the first single man, was aware that he was going to get married, he didn’t carry it on his head.
What was it that made the first man to be in that state of not being bothered? He had always been like that because of what God put in his mind or how God framed his mind. Adam didn’t forget there is a female version of him, yet he wasn’t perturbed.
Adam had a lot of things in his mind. There is something about our minds that is different from Adam’s. God put Christ in His soul. Souls go everywhere when there is no weight in it. It is possible not to be burdened with the thoughts of marriage. The same way it is with money, with greatness, etc. If the mind is weightless, the soul would also be weightless.
We need to wait for God to change our season. The reason why one cannot wait is because there is no weight inside. Satan is flooding us with so much yet so little; he is doing a lot of damage.
(Gen. 1: 27-28) – “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
In verse 28, God blessed them; we can say God ‘Christed’ them. A person who truly receives the message would be so tasked in his mind especially if he uses the message. The reason why we take many thoughts that spoil our singlehood is because we don’t have enough to think about. Many things have captured us, our minds are everywhere. Christ is meant to be a thinking cap; when you think Christ, you think blessed thoughts, when you think Christ, you think wholeness. If truly you have seen the light, you would almost fight if anyone wants to take it away from you.
Christ is a different man with different time zones. Christ is a new life ahead of the old man. Adam knew there was someone for him, but he had something else overwhelming his mind. We should have the mind of Christ. Many of us see Christ as a burden but when we touch Christ, it would execute flesh.
How was it that Adam was not obsessed about who to marry? The pressure this world gives can be overcome by giving attention to God’s word. Many times, we think God is slow, we think we ought to help God to make things happen faster but God has us in mind. Jesus already knows the person we will get married to because He knows the end from the beginning. We might marry the wrong person if we don’t allow God to frame our mind.
God needs us to be saved, for this to happen, Christ needs to be preached but then, Christ may be preached but we are not giving heed. Many times, we just hear but we must learn not to let meetings come and go; we should not just go with the flow. We must actively engage with the word, hearken to what has been heard to alter the nature of the old man.
Adam was not concerned because too much was in him. It is worthy of note that marrying in the word of righteousness doesn’t mean you are a righteous person. The fact that a man is hearing the word of righteousness doesn’t make him a husband. One must allow the Lord to lead us. Our mind can be so occupied that we are not time conscious. The clock of our life is not in man’s hands, nor in the hands of our family.
The bench mark God expects us to attain to get married is to become Christ. A man is a building and as singles, we must allow God to do in us what will build us up as Christ. We must strive to be built.
(Proverbs 18:22) – “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
(Genesis 2:18) –“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
It takes a husband to find a wife. The word wife is actually a man with a womb. The good thing is the woman, likewise, the man himself is a good thing. Both good things are buildings.
God builds a husband. A husband is not somebody who has a good prospect in the natural world. A husband is a soul that has been built. Many ladies are married but are not yet wives. God builds a wife, God builds a husband. Wife-hood and husband-hood are characters of life that God works out in a soul. It takes a husband to choose a wife by leading. A spiritual man who has been built can marry anybody. There is nothing any woman has that is not in other women, hence, don’t choose by the physical. It takes growth to marry the person God chooses for you. If God leads you according to your idol, it would limit your growth – (Hosea 4:17) — “Ephraim is joined to idols: let him alone.”
Marriage is a cross that requires dying daily. God builds and frames us for marriage. Having a nice physical shape doesn’t make you a wife; ladies should not carry their beauty on their head. A wife should be able to endure, you must be able to endure rebuke. A husband or wife is a building. God uses Christ to build.
For God to work the nature of a husband or wife in a person, you need to give yourself to growing up spiritually. Part of the reason why God designed the church is for accelerated growth. A wife is a building, ability to endure is a nature and we need to see it in somebody. Faith is not just about meeting needs but culturing a way of life.
(Titus 2:3-6) — “3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.”
There is wisdom in drawing close to our Pastors. Satan makes us run away from spiritual authority. One practical way to grow spiritually is to submit to spiritual authority. We also need to be sober. To be sober means to be grave.
How does a wife love her husband? Many women think they can love/spoil their husbands. Many women think it is through sex, but unfortunately, most have no clue. It takes an older woman to tell a woman how to love her husband. A man is a god in his home. The older women would teach the younger women how to love, how to catch a man amongst many other things. It’s the older woman that knows the soul of a man as that cannot be known by reading the bible alone, the Holy Spirit has to attach you to someone who would show and demonstrate it. There is a place for learning these things. Every man should be hard working. When we submit to spiritual authority, spirits are being transferred.
The more ancient we are the better. We need to go to older people’s houses to look for services to render. Service is an ancient landmark to transfer and concretize natures. (Proverbs 22:28) “Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set.” Don’t be afraid of spiritual authorities, they are not against you, look for opportunity to serve and to be of blessing.
Be at liberty as a sister to marry someone younger than you. Sometimes, spiritual authority may suggest that you consider a particular person. Adam didn’t have a leading, they brought his wife to him. Isaac didn’t have a leading either, they went to fetch his wife (Gen. 25). Many spiritual authorities have suggested a particular person that has led to stable marriages. There is nothing wrong as a sister if you also pick the leading, it is not a sin. There’s no particular brother your name is written on. The Lord can lead you to a person, and if not in agreement, move on.
If a person is of marriageable age and not yet married, be encouraged in your heart and don’t be discouraged, particularly if there is one more reason. It is good to know that the real reason for our calling is not marriage; it is to strengthen our resolve to pursue the Lord whilst not ignoring our natural realities. Put your leg on the accelerator of growth. The answer to every challenge or contradiction of life is to grow more. We must grow above the voices that tell us that we need to marry, grow above the issue of age, grow above contradiction. The best way to reply to the evil spirit is to grow.
There is a lot we have left behind and we mustn’t go back to our vomit. Also, don’t let brethren who are not strong in their faith offend you through words or actions. You have come too far, you are bigger than marriage, can you make a decision in your heart that even if you don’t marry, you would keep following. If you don’t make that kind of decision out of spiritual conviction, you may not break through certain seasons of your life. For some of us, we need a little more push.
What evil spirits are after is not even in us not getting married but they are after us not acquiring life. We would marry but can we purpose in our heart that if I don’t marry, I would still pursue this truth. Sometimes, you may need to pray out evil thoughts. Stretch your soul and say all I want is salvation. Look beyond marriage and stay in that state of salvation; let the thought of salvation consume you. Be assured that you would marry; the Lord already has someone prepared for you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Rejoice with those who marry. Sow seeds, don’t be offended that someone else is doing well, it is Satan.
We should also note that it is good to dress well. As brothers, we need to learn how to look good. Dressing well doesn’t stop your spiritual growth, it doesn’t make you worldly. Religion teaches us to be spooky. You also don’t need to have too much money to look good. Work on your dressing, work on your breath. However, we also should not let such issues limit our leading. Take care of your health, begin to know how to eat right, learn to sleep because it also affects your look. As a sister there is nothing wrong in looking attractive while there must be modesty, dress fine, look fine, smell good, brothers are led by the spirit but also led by what they see.
Another thing is being supernatural in your choice making. There are people whose leading is still tribal. Be supernatural in your leading as long as they are learning truth. Don’t put financial or educational road blocks. Don’t have biases of age, colour, etc. Marry a person who is Christ as long as there is a leading.
We should also take steps of faith. The reason why some people would not marry is because they want to plan everything. Allow for small beginnings. Is the sister/brother loving Christ? then marry! Have eyes for the future, don’t only see natural or earthly potentials, see his or her potential to grow, to submit. Sometimes, it is not only leading but a healthy relationship can lead to marriage. Sometimes, the doorway of friendship can lead to leading for marriage. You can leverage on friendship. Be friends. At the end of the day, the Lord wants to pair us two by two to lead us into life. Marriage is not just for romance, marriage is to an end; it is for life.
Questions & Answers.
- Question: Can someone listening to the Word of Righteousness marry someone not listening to the Word of righteousness?
- Answer: No father would want to give out his daughter to someone he doubts would take care of her. There is no law that is written that you must marry someone in NLWC, we are not an occult group. While it is not a law, we just want to be sure that salvation would continue where you are going to.
THE END.