The God Made Wife (Part 2)

The New and Living Way Church, Ikorodu.

Meeting:              Sunday Service

Date:                       31st October, 2021

Ministers:                Pastor Segun & Pastor Laide Olaniyan

Pastor Segun

The Lord is saying things for those who are not married and for those that are married, He is setting standards for us to attain unto as a standard in the spirit because He is looking for a godly home and seed and He is going to do it through our marriages. He is making the reason for marriage very plain to us.

(Ephesians 5:19-24;1 Peter 3:1-9) For the wife to be saved, it is the husband that will save her. Her salvation is dependent on her husband and this is scary to note as a husband. When your wife is submitting to you, the man should be more afraid because the responsibilities on your head are high. When we say salvation, we are not just referring to new birth, we are talking about being saved from the works of darkness, from the nature of sin that has been wrought in a man. Last week we looked at the adorning that a woman should have shamefacedness, sobriety and that she should not be bold. When we say bold, we are not saying to be timid in dealings but in how you relate with your husband and submitting to him. 

We’ve seen that one of things that is of great price, that is valued in the spirit, is a meek and quiet spirit. Everyone who appears in the spirit realm that way is highly valued. You are not rated in the spirit because you can pray 24hours or because you can roll out scriptures but by your meekness and that is why Satan fights it. He doesn’t want meek people. The nature that he wrought in man is full of wrath. You just find yourself applying it when the right pressure is applied. It is when situations have not come around you that you think you are gentle. God is looking for a meek and quiet spirit in a wife.

The ways of the Holy women

We’ll be looking at the ways of the holy women, how they were able to live and navigate their way and also keep their home (because a lot rests on the wife in terms of keeping the home to enable the Lord rest in that home). (1 Peter 3:1-7) The way they were able to come into estates in the spirit was by submitting to their husbands, by their chaste conversation. They were able to show from their conversation that they were worthy of the estate that God is calling them into. We’ll look into the configuration that these women had. 

We see Sarah how she was able to submit to Abraham her Lord even to the extent that she was used as an exchange because Abraham was afraid, and she obeyed. So, we can see their relationship with their husbands was what stood out in the spirit and gave them an everlasting estate. It wasn’t by fasting or doing spiritual things. We are not saying those things are bad but those things complement submission to your husband. The Lord recognized that heart that is submissive. For every woman, your salvation is tied to your husband. To sustain a marriage, you need some things and you cannot acquire them unless you submit. There are some conversations that you would need to come into to sustain a marriage. It will take a lot of wisdom and strength because there are many menacing spirits that fight marriage because when they see marriage, they see their destruction. 

In the garden, when God was making pronouncements, He told the serpent that you and the woman will be enemies and her seed will bruise your head. Satan understands the place of the woman in ending his reign on earth so he fights them to prevent them from fulfilling their role in marriage. This is why wives need to have an understanding of what they are against. It is a wicked work that Satan has wrought so that women will not submit and that is why we have a lot of things now like equality, feminism e.t.c just so that women will not submit. He also made it such that women have been subjugated over the years and in wanting to correct what has gone wrong over the years, they fall into error because they try to correct it with human wisdom. Human wisdom can’t combat what evil spirits have wrought.

Let us look at the inward configuration of these women: 

Chaste conversation: There is a chaste way they revere their husbands. If we look at our mothers, they had a form of reverence for their husbands to an extent but not so with today’s women who have embraced this idea of equality and if you have that mentality, you won’t survive marriage. The way God ordered it is that the man is the head and the woman supports him. But when you feel you are at par with him, you expose yourself in the spirit and when you do, spirits will prey on your head and they do this by sending wrong thoughts that you are not supposed to get about your husband, about your home e.t.c. You find that when you were courting everything was all fine but in marriage it is different. It is spirits at play because you are not covered. Even in ministry why do you think people submit to spiritual authority, it’s to protect themselves.

As a woman, your husband is covering you. He might not be spiritual as you are but you have to submit because the bible demands it. See him as your Lord and Savior. You should submit as unto the Lord. This mindset must be ingrained in us that ‘my salvation is tied to my husband’. Yes he might have plenty of infirmities but when you submit you’d be surprised to find that you’re loving your husband the more. 

While there are women in business and entrepreneurship, of which we are not saying it is bad, but if the Lord says stay at home and serve your husband, you should do it. What we should aspire to be is to be modest. (Ephesians 5:23) Yes your husband is your friend but you must also understand that he is your Lord so that you don’t “see finish” with him. It’s easier to respect your pastor than your husband. Somewhere you might not respect your husband but you’ll see that when you respect and submit to him, you’d be surprised that wisdom will just start to flow from him. Sometimes your husband might advise you to do something even though you have a contrary opinion, by your submission, you’ll just see that that thing will work. 

God respects order. He is the one that receives and gives to you. Even if he is your friend, he is also your husband so don’t look down on him even if he is not earning so much or you earn more than him. Don’t let the Lord deal with you or humble you. Show forth a chaste conversation by how you relate with him and see him as authority over your affairs and that his word is final. Even if what you want to do is in the interest of the family, don’t go behind his back after he has said no, that is disobedience.

Within life: One of the things Satan has done to the women folks in this season is that he has made them lighter than vanity. They are more concerned about their outside but when you look at them and xray them in terms of character and ability to withstand pressure, they fall flat because they have not been decked with substances on their inside to keep a home. With the messages we are hearing, the Lord is decking us with wisdom. We need to build capacity especially for young women and those not married. 

Marriage is not sustained by your looks. They say look good for your husband but that alone will not sustain your marriage especially when demands and instructions come because they will come. If you don’t have that inward building & strength when the Lord brings His demands, you’ll just find that you are failing. Some of us watched our father abuse our mum and for some our mothers have told us not to let men take advantage of you but please don’t have that type of mindset. That is why you need strength and substance inside. You should cry more when your inward is not looking so fine. 

Women of old had things they were carrying inside that made them understand how to navigate circumstances and handle situations. They understand how to submit to their husbands when issues arise. They do not feel this guy is cheating me. They just believe they are submitting to the lord.

There are raging seas inside of every woman but she just has to tame it. Women are more emotional, don’t forget, and tend to remember things. For you to overcome that nature that can hold hurts or find it difficult to forgive your husband, you must have stature because if you don’t, Satan will stay there and before you know it you’ll be reacting based on that and rebellion will start. But if you have been decked from within, it wouldn’t mean anything to you and if Satan is sending thoughts to you you’ll know that these are wrong thoughts and you’re meant to revere and submit to your husband. You’ll struggle with instructions if you don’t submit to your husband. There is a strength that comes from submission that gives you energy to obey the Lord.

Subjection to your own husband: It is a heart thing. You can start in the flesh. There are so many woke cultures telling people to be true to themselves but we are to be true to the word of God because self is deceitful. If you are being true to a deceitful person (self) then you are deceitful. The only thing that is true is the word of God. 

You should see your husband as better than yourself. It doesn’t demean you in any way. It is more of a heart posture. In the spirit, you’ll be seen as a wise woman. Just conclude it in your heart. Decide that you will be in subjection to your own husband, not to every man but to the man God has given you. It is possible that you are much more intelligent than him; but never let it be known outside that you’re the engine block that is doing everything. Let people know he’s the one doing everything. When you do that, you come under covering. The Lord sees you as wise and you’ll have stature in the spirit.

The scope and extent of submission

In all things: Submission is in all things. Don’t say I will submit my body; I will cook but my money is my money no submission with my money. We are to submit in all things — career, your body, ideas, knowledge e.t.c. It is easier to submit things when we are confused but not when we know what to do or already have our own idea. Submission is in all things, not when it is convenient. Submission is a high standard for the wife. I don’t expect that after this series anybody will just marry anyhow because you will have just mortgaged your eternal estate for something ephemeral. It is important that we think upon these things. 

As words are coming forth, knowledge is being made available and we now have understanding. There is so much noise in the world today and if you don’t come to where knowledge is being disseminated, you won’t have understanding of what we are supposed to do and you will go along with a wrong notion of what the world is saying about marriage and how the wife should be deceitful to her own husband. You will see some women saying some things and if you are not careful, you will find that they have sown some seeds into you. 

There are still some women who are hearing eternal life and are still behaving worldly. Something did that to their mind and that is why we must keep to heart the things we are hearing and as understanding is being brought forth they will help us. You can be hearing eternal life messages and still act worldly. We must keep these things we are hearing.

In the fear of the Lord: You submitting is not because you’re afraid of your husband, but because of the Lord who gave the commandment. The wife’s gaze must constantly be on the Lord and not on the husband. This commandment of submission loses its essence once the eye is not on the Lord, because there are so many reasons why the woman will not and cannot submit if she considers only the man.

Also, don’t look down on him and say if I knew eternal life I wouldn’t have married him. Once you have married him, you have married him. Now that God has opened your eyes and you are understanding the demands, obey them.

Sarah Obeyed Abraham and Called Him Lord (1Peter 3:6, Gen 18:12): I believe that for a woman, if you want to keep your body and not age in looks, submit to your husband. When you submit, something happens to your body that renews it. As you are submitting, the laws of sin and death are being reversed in the body. This is how Sarah’s womb was quickened as she submitted to her husband (Romans 4:19). Submission has an implication on the body. 

Sarah obeyed Abraham from a heart disposition of Abraham being her lord. This is the exact point where every woman should come to – acknowledging and admitting that the husband is her lord. This displays a heart disposition that has surrendered all to the husband. No fear of being cheated, she is a free woman who was yoked with her husband for the fulfillment of God’s eternal plan.

Learning from The Aged Women (Titus 2:2-4) 

The journey of marriage is a faith journey that requires help from the aged or the older women who have been in marriage. But this should be understood in context. These aged women are not aged just because of natural age but because of age in the character of Christ and everlasting nature which God worked in them (Titus 2:3). We are not saying seek advice from one Mama Bola but we are saying from women who have the workings of Christ in them.  We should look at how they honor their husbands. These women should be our examples because the Lord has dealt with them not just any random woman who will give you advice that will destroy your home.

Pastor Laide

This message is a battle. Every successive teaching is warfare. You don’t know how Satan has laid foundations in men. Ideas and ideologies, traditions of men have taken stock in the hearts of men. Standards, ethics of the world have gained root and have become trees in men. Jesus said every tree that my father has not planted — someone planted those trees and at one point they were sown as seeds and have now become trees (Matthew 15:13). They are standards that people have accepted as replacement to the word of God. They are ideologies that are accepted as societal norms or standards of equity. 

Some of these thoughts that we are fighting, they have been sown for long. Somebody has painted to us how marriage should be and some of us have very creative minds that we have gone far into the future and have staged a picture of an ideal marriage in our hearts that is now at conflict with the word of God.

I see the labour of the Lord to buttress again the reason for marriage. Some of us might not get married for another 5/10/15 years time but I see the Lord ensuring that these foundations are accurately laid so that in times to come, the building of the Lord will properly rest upon those foundations. It is good to know, like I said last week, that it is a noble thing to desire to submit to your husband or aspire to be of a chaste conversation. It is the whorish woman that is loud, clamorous and lifts up her voice in the streets. 

When you read the character of the whorish woman in the book of Proverbs, you’ll see she is a brawler and full of clamour. One of the things they will teach us is how to be quiet. You may think ‘that is just my nature’ but no, you can be taught how to be quiet. This is not trying to subjugate women. This is the word of God and that is why some people hate religion because they want flesh to remain. They believe ‘your religion is against my nature’. It is not your nature ma! Someone planted it. Someone sowed that seed. You can be quiet, not quiet as in you don’t talk. You can be a very chatty person and yet quiet and grave in the spirit. You can’t be under sincerely if you have not learnt to be under the Spirit.

No husband wants a dummy in the house. It’s not by “yes sir”. It’s not a house girl they want to marry. Being in subjection is not whatever they say, I don’t have any opinion. It is not being a dullard. To be in subjection, you must understand the trajectory of the spirit. You must be a spirit person. You understand the person’s spirit. You will know when to wait on your husband and which one you can go ahead with knowing it is in consonance with what is in his spirit. 

You’ll see there are times he’ll say it’s good you waited on me because somewhere it is just murky or not clear. Even with waiting on the Lord, you know the Lord has shown it and it is clear so you go ahead and then at other times we wait for the Lord to open it up. So also in marriage, submission is like that. It is not mechanical, it is spiritual. What I am saying is this — for you to be a submissive woman you have to be a spirit woman. 

That state of tranquility – to be able to pick the spirit – is what we call quietness. There is no noise of words and distractions around you so you accurately and succinctly follow the spirit, that is quietness.

When I read Ephesians 4 & 5, I noticed clamoring which means to be unethically loud (Epehsians 4:31). Some of us are like that. No sense of decorum. Some of us don’t know how to talk, we talk loosely. There are also spiritual etiquettes. When you are spiritual, the spirit beats it away from you because it is not the nature of God. It doesn’t mean you cannot preach loudly or lift up your voice as the spirit permits, but it is doing so unethically in the spirit.

For the woman, there are women specific dealings. For some, the Lord can deal with you because of your quest for your opinion to be heard. When we first got married, the Lord told me to allow my wife to have her way. When you were growing up, you made decisions for yourself then when you get married they say someone else will be the decider. Somewhere you can miss that life. You might act it up for a while but later on you will miss it. You will feel he is not being good to you. You will do it grudgingly and not from your heart because you feel someone is putting me under. It will take a while before you are readjusted because it is for the Lord. 

God can arrange it for you that even though you are an adult or even above 30, He can put you under someone that will be telling you what to do and you might say ‘ahan am I a small child?’ But you won’t know that God is helping you ahead of an estate not because your husband will give you rules of which I don’t believe any husband will do that here. For you to thrive in that estate, they need to do that to help your heart. 

Scripture is not trying to subjugate women. Remember we’ve also addressed the men previously because it is as Christ is to the church and that is why it is not for everybody. I am not saying these things to everybody but to those that are pursuing light because it is not everybody that can take these things. But as long as you are seeking eternal life, seeking inheritance in the kingdom, this is the only path that leads there. 

(Titus 2:2-4) Why is sobriety or soberness the first thing they will teach the younger women? You know we hate soberness and want excitement but we have excess of it already. There is something we don’t have however that without it, we will transgress the laws of God. When you get into marriage, they will teach you how to calm down. You need to calm down, to be sober, to hold your marriage. You need to be taught. You know how to love your fiance but you will need to learn how to love your husband. What you used to run your relationship is not what you use to run marriage. All those ‘you look cute, gifts giving, take you to eatery’, that is not marriage. You don’t know what love is. To love your husband is obeying him even in tears. May you love your husband (Amen). This is why one of the first curricula for women is not to love their husbands but to submit to them because you cannot do it yet. Yes, man’s responsibility is to love and women to submit but there is also a love demand for women but they need to teach you. When they teach you, you will learn love in marriage. You will not learn it on Facebook but from older women who have held faith.

Mushiness is too light to build a home on. The reason I am taking time to emphasize these things is because there are so many wrong things out there and if we are modelled after them, we might not experience divorce, but we might not come into eternal heritages and estates of life in the Lord. Back to Titus 2:2-4, the sequence is to be sober, to love their husbands and then to love their children. Some women love their children much more than their husbands. You can’t truly love your children if you don’t love their father. 

I see women grow and immediately they start giving birth, they start getting farther away from their husbands. If you don’t learn to love your husband, you won’t love the children well. Even with the children, they will need to teach you how to love them. That thing that binds you to your children somewhere is a lie and can be used to destroy them. They must teach you how to love the seed from your own bowel. Scripture didn’t say she cannot love, it says she cannot forget the child of her bowel. You cannot love yet according to God’s definition. 

I am saying all these things so we can know our deficiencies and cry out to God. So that when God is bringing arrangements around us to help us in preparation for these things, we won’t resist. Because when He starts bringing older women in the faith, we won’t say what’s their own they’ve done their own let me do my own. We need to be calming down. This marriage you want to go into, you don’t have enough wisdom to go through it for the purpose of eternal life. If it is to just give birth, anyone can do it (even chickens do it) but running it and growing in life, we need to be calming down. 

One of the things the Lord told us about 4years ago was that He will raise many homes/unions as witnesses of life in this place and I am already seeing the Lord has started that work and it will be accelerated in the next couple of years such that the standards of righteousness will be evidently seen everywhere. 

If you are in the wrong relationship and based on the teachings you have seen that there is no hope or bearings to light, grace will come for you to separate. You won’t waste your time and another man’s child’s time. It is actually love to walk out of an unhealthy relationship, one that you know the Lord has no hand in. It is wickedness to stay in it after the Lord has told you He has no hand in it. Please if you are not sure that the Lord has a hand in it and that has the backing of authority in it, please back out of it. Stop wasting people’s emotions and time. If someone is wasting your time and doesn’t want leadership to know, please voice out, run away. 

Satan is wicked. While you are contemplating, the good ones will be passing by and you will think you are in a serious relationship. If you are single let us know you are singularly single and if you are busy let us defend the busyness. Don’t let any brother waste your time even if they are EGFM or NLWC or even staying in Pastor’s house. Let it be clearly stated not that they will just be chatting you up in the night unnecessarily. Even sisters do so too. 

Yes, love freely and relate freely with one another but when it comes to emotions if you notice that you were relating freely and now emotions are coming into play, you are at liberty to distance yourself and even report to authority. Not that you will be getting closer and closer and 4 months later you realise that God is not in it. There was a time I blocked my wife’s number (before we got married) when I discovered that emotions were getting in the way before the Lord finally spoke later about her. 

Please save your brother/sister, save your brethren. It is charity walk to keep them away so that emotions don’t mix things up. Don’t let anyone spoil your waters o. Not that you will want to pray or open your bible, it is Bro. Jide’s face that you will be seeing. If a brother is chatting you up anyhow, ask him what do you want or say I don’t have time. Sometimes even ladies like it somewhere, you will be playing ‘stop it I like it’.

THE END